


fire (hidden harmony)

by Lauren (notalwaysweak)



Series: elements of desire [2]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Polyamory, Relationship Negotiation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 17:32:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7693255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notalwaysweak/pseuds/Lauren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vax tells Gilmore something he's known for a long time, and the polycule extends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	fire (hidden harmony)

Vax has told Keyleth he loves her half a dozen times now. The outcome has varied from him walking away to her walking away to her hesitant admission that yes, perhaps she does return his feelings.

He hasn't told Percy the same, not in words anyway. Why, when he wears his heart so readily on his sleeve, he doesn't know. It's just _there_ between them, in everything from calling each other names (and he has so many names for Percy now) to the way that Percy slides his glasses down his nose and sets them out of the way when Vax disrupts his work with _that_ specific intent. Percy has taken to carrying a padded velvet glasses case in case a twin decides to, ah, _pounce_ on him at an inopportune moment. Not that inopportune moments come up all that often; Vax and Vex both have a way of making every seized moment an _excellent_ opportunity.

Gilmore is different. Vax _has_ to tell Gilmore. If only to put a name to the feeling that's been between them for so many years. And now, back in Whitestone, reunited with the Emon refugees, he has the chance.

In order to tell Gilmore, though, he has to tell Keyleth and Percy first.

"Of course you love him, Vax," Keyleth says, taking his hands in hers. "We _all_ know that."

"I just didn't want to go and say anything to him without you knowing."

Percy, who's sitting across the mostly vacated dinner table from them and picking little bits of pith off an orange slice, puts in, "I'm just looking forward to hearing what _he_ says when you tell him about _us_."

"Oh," Vax says.

Keyleth pulls one hand back to cover her mouth. "Oh dear," she says through her fingers. She sounds amused. "He knows you chose me over him, but this..."

Percy reaches across the table to take Vax's free hand. "All you can do is tell him and leave it up to him to decide what to do with the information. I know you can do that, since it's exactly what you did to me."

"What does Vex think?" Keyleth knows well how much Vax values his sister's opinion—even on those occasions when it's unsolicited. "Where _is_ Vex, anyway?"

"Reacquainting herself with Jarett. Or possibly Zahra. She hadn't decided." Percy intertwines his fingers with Vax's.

Keyleth giggles. "Did you see how Grog was looking at Lady Kima?"

"Did you see how obviously Lady Kima was attached at the hip to Lady Allura?" Vax asks.

"A goliath can dream. I think it's sweet."

Though both Percy and Keyleth try to chivvy Vax into hunting down Gilmore right away, he brushes them off, still uncertain of what he is going to say. At last they each find their own quarters, exchanging kisses in the hallway before seeking their beds. Keyleth even dabs a kiss on Percy's cheek with a giggle.

* * *

Vax is still awake half an hour later, eyes open, gazing into the darkness and contemplating going to find Gilmore after all. Surely better to speak to him before word gets to him otherwise about the shifting relationships among the members of Vox Machina.

But then there's a knock on the door, and for a few sweet minutes Vax has the chance to be the one hunted down instead of the one doing the hunting. Gilmore has come to him; he can speak his mind as a response to Gilmore, and all will be well.

Unfortunately the "hunt" part is a little too literal; Hotis very nearly kills him, with very little time for anyone to discuss their feelings for anyone else.

(Aside from Scanlan being very vocally impressed by Pike fighting naked, but that's less of a revelation of feelings than a basic autonomic response, for Scanlan.)

Vax slumps between Vex and Percy as they carry him down to the ziggurat below Whitestone Castle. Thankfully his lover's sharp mind has hit upon a working solution and the horrid bloodletting cloak is easily stripped away—triggering disgust from Vex.

"We look almost exactly the same!" Vax points out, wrapping Grog's fancy robe around himself. It's a rather nice shade of teal, a fact he would appreciate far more if he and his friends hadn't just been attacked by a bunch of assassins and a tiger-demon-devil-beast from the Nine Hells.

"I don't have dangly bits," Vex retorts.

"I think you'd be quite surprised how different you actually are," Percy says with a quiet, knowing smile.

"This is too much information." Scanlan looks more fascinated than disgusted, though.

"Scanlan, given that you told us all when you caught your first case of crabs—and second, and third—I don't think you can accuse _us_ of 'too much information'." Vex looks ready to start an argument, which is good; it means she's not so worried about Vax any more.

Suddenly the air parts before them and Keyleth, the _real_ Gilmore gripping her arm, appears. They both look frazzled, Gilmore's purple sleep robe is askew, but Vax doesn't miss the way that Gilmore eyes him approvingly.

"What did I ask you that night in the tavern?" he asks reluctantly at Scanlan's insistence.

Gilmore looks as though he's the one who's been stabbed. "That your interests lay elsewhere."

"And that's not—" Vax begins, then stops. "I didn't want to tell you like this."

Gilmore raises one dark eyebrow; it's streaked with blood. "Tell me what?"

Usually Vax is the one who walks away from sticky emotional situations; this time it's the others who make tracks, Percy pausing to press a healing potion into his hand, Vex pausing to say, "Don't you dare hurt him"—apparently aimed at both of them.

Then it's just the two of them, deep below Whitestone Castle, looking awkwardly at each other. Gilmore has a drying rivulet of blood on his forehead; Vax feels as though he has blood _everywhere_ , but with Grog's fancy robe around his shoulders he at least doesn't feel quite so exposed.

"Tell me what?" Gilmore asks again, tone softer but gaze still quite grave.

"This _really_ isn't how I would have chosen to tell you."

"Vax'ildan, you mean a good deal to me, but if you don’t stop avoiding whatever it is you're attempting to say—"

"I love you," Vax blurts.

Gilmore sits down on one of the rocks that are scattered around the area and pulls a flask out of his sleeping robe. "If you'd sought to be cruel to me, you could have sent your own assassin." He drinks deeply from the flask as Vax struggles to find a response.

"I mean it," he manages at last.

Gilmore gives him a look of such sorrow that Vax wishes he _could_ walk away. But not this time. "I believe you. Maybe that's the worst part. To know that it's true, what I've hoped for all this time, but to also know that you'll be gone again so soon."

"The thing is, Gil—Shaun. Shaun, I've realized that I _can_ love more than one person." Vax wraps the robe more tightly around himself and sits down on the rock beside Gilmore.

"Join the club."

"And I—wait, what?"

"Vax. You're a charming, attractive man. Surely you're aware of that."

"Yes?"

"And I, too, am a charming, attractive man."

Vax feels he's on solider ground here. "Yes," he says fervently.

"I'm not the only person to pursue you over the years, young as you might be. So you can imagine that I too have been pursued by more than one person..."

"Yes," Vax says for the third time, and this one is of dawning clarity.

"You haven't cornered the market on having multiple lovers. It's not a new idea. And I don't mean in the way that Scanlan sleeps around—I mean _love_." Gilmore gives Vax a look of unshielded emotion. "I've had multiple partners in the past. I've loved and lost. When you said what you said to me in that tavern that night, I felt as though I'd lost a love without having the chance to truly love in the first place."

Vax can say nothing this time; he's been considering how this might go for some time now and this wasn't one of the scenarios. None of his scenarios hurt like this.

"After that pain, hearing you say _now_ that you love me makes me wonder just how arrogant you are to assume that means I'll drop everything and leap into your arms." Gilmore takes another drink and passes the flask to a now very stunned Vax.

The burning alcohol loosens his tongue enough to say, "Of course not." He hangs his head, wishing for his familiar old cloak to pull his hood close around his face. As it is, when he makes the familiar gesture, all he succeeds in doing is tugging the top of the fancy robe up to chin level—leading to the bottom half of the robe gaping open somewhat indecently. "Gilmore, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed—" He closes his eyes and sighs. "I'm so sorry."

Vax feels the flask pulled from his hand, and then Gilmore's hands closing around his. "I think I can manage to forgive you," Gilmore says, tone serious.

"You can?"

"Under one condition."

Vax opens his eyes. Gilmore has turned to face him—is, in fact, a lot closer than he was a moment ago.

"Kiss me," Gilmore says, and Vax gladly closes that last small gap.

* * *

Kissing Keyleth is like having a firefly alight on your hand for a moment and then flit away. She's working on not being shy, but it's taking time. Each kiss is a small spark, occasionally flaring into a larger flame.

Kissing Percy is like sitting by the gunslinger's forge: there's heat but it's contained, held back by the years of restrain that Percy has imposed upon himself. No less appealing for it, though. Certainly not when he can make the flames go higher, until both of them are breathless.

Kissing Gilmore—

Kissing Gilmore is the fire unchecked. The second that he puts his hand to Gilmore's cheek, his lips to Gilmore's lips, all the tension that years of dancing around each other has built up bursts blazing bright between them. Vax nearly falls to the ground trying to press himself closer to Gilmore, saved only by the tight grip of Gilmore's arms around him, holding him as though he'll never let go.

Between kisses Gilmore gasps a spell and in an instant they're teleported to the living room of a house that Vax doesn't know, but can readily guess is Gilmore's new home. It has three upright and heavily stocked bookshelves, one fallen bookshelf, and the crushed remnants of an assassin on the floor.

Gilmore sees him looking and laughs a little shakily. "I would have cleaned up if I'd known I was having a visitor."

"Clean it later?" Vax asks, and the suggestion coupled with the fact that Vax's robe has now flapped quite expansively open has Gilmore hoisting Vax into his arms and bearing him into the bedroom. One arm is sensibly under Vax's backside, but the other hand finds its way straight to Vax's bare thigh, reminding Vax just how much he isn't wearing under the robe.

"By Sune," Gilmore breathes as he sets Vax down on the—purple, of course—bed. "Speaking of cleaning—" He murmurs another spell that whisks all the blood off Vax's body.

"I can think of more fun ways to remove that," Vax says.

"So can I. I was just aiming for expediency in this instance." Gilmore shrugs out of his sleeping robe and moves to straddle Vax's all in one graceful movement. He's still wearing sleep pants, but they're just thin silk. Vax almost wonders how Gilmore managed to hang on to anything so luxurious in the evacuation from Emon, but he can't think overmuch about sartorial matters because Gilmore is kissing him again. This time he's pressed _much_ closer than down in the Whitestone tunnels, and that's all that Vax can think, _wants_ to think about.

Vex's voice buzzes through the earring. Vax gasps, "I'm _fine_ ," as Gilmore's lips find his throat, and then pulls the jewelry off, tossing it aside.

* * *

When Vax and Gilmore return to Whitestone Castle, it's pushing early afternoon. They walk hand in hand through the streets and get a few nods and smiles on the way; so many people know Vox Machina and their friends now.

Though there's much that they need to do yet as regards dealing with the aftermath of the assassins—Gilmore's has been scraped up and put into a Bag of Holding—not to mention preparing for the coming quest into the Feywild, the members of Vox Machina do still need to take some time for themselves.

It seems that Vax's twin has been taking other people's time as well as her own. She's enthroned herself in the castle's sitting room, snuggled up on a couch with Zahra, the tiefling playing with her hair. Keyleth and Kashaw are sitting across from them on an armchair, Kiki on the arm and Kash on the seat. They look uncomfortable, but in an oddly comfortable way. Percy's sitting on the floor, leaning back against Vex's knees, sketchbook open on his lap. They all look very cozy.

Vax steps into the room, still hand in hand with Gilmore. Vex lifts her head, sees them, and says, "Well, _finally_."

"I told you I was fine."

"Not that, you idiot, _you two_." Vex gestures at their joined hands. "I thought you were never going to tell him."

Keyleth looks up and squeals with delight. "Oh, Vax, you told him!"

"I think they did more than _tell_ each other anything, darling," Zahra drawls, running her fingers through Vex's unbound hair. "If those are Vax's own clothes, I'm an aasimar."

"I'm so glad you finally got it out there, Vax. We were hanging on every moment that you weren't openly in love, desperate for you to let your heart off its leash," Kashaw says.

Everyone gives him a deeply confused look.

"Kidding. I have no idea who this man is or what he means to Vax."

"Well, if they'd come and sit down, we can tell you the story from the beginning," Keyleth says, tilting her head toward a second couch. She catches Vax's hand on the way past and kisses it; Percy goes her one better and rises from the floor, sitting at the end of the couch where he can reach over to hold Vex's hand with one hand, before patting the seat cushion beside himself.

Vax settles down there, Gilmore on his other side, and listens to Keyleth as she begins recounting the story. He has to chime in a lot, and he feels awkward and ashamed when he tells them about the night in the tavern, but even if they don't all quite understand, he still feels nothing but kindness and love from these people, his closest friends, his dearest loves.

**Author's Note:**

> Fire is one of the four elements watched over by the Ashari tribes; it was Heraclitus, one of the Fire Ashari, who considered fire to be the most fundamental of the four, and espoused a theory by which fire birthed all the other elements, incorporating the so-called 'hidden harmony'. However, when Heraclitus was on his Aramente and attempted to explain his theory to various members of the Water Ashari, he was thoroughly soaked through by their Headmaster Morgance, and thereafter took a rather more unbiased view of the elemental balance.


End file.
